A Spew. #1
Trying to write. Trying to think. Jumbled. Problematic. Devil. Devil. Demon. Don’t wanna keep blaming you…but, you suck. Attack-attack. Static. Frenzy. Blow-a-fuze. Light bulb burst. Now thinking…trying to think..is hard and broken, synapses and this other little filaments of the brain that stutter to flutter Help. I need to phone someone. Ring them up. String me up. Die stupid kid, die. Why? Why do you try to still drive? This thing ain’t yours anymore. Body. Flesh. Church. Family. Friends. Thinking… teaching. None of it. Not yours. You gave up your ownership of ownership. Try thinking, pondering, philosophizing your way out of this. Ain’t gonna happen. No way. Treading, no longer treading water. Drown. Be baptized. Head-over-heels-tumble down the stairs. Up is down is down is up sideways alongside of side-saddled difficulty coming out of me like ruined debris only TO BE formed/reformed, put back in me to someday be all I am supposed to be. JESUS. Take over. Out. Of. Ability. Breath. Amen.