Sometimes God just takes us past the point of exhaustion, where enough is beyond enough. You know, past the blessed balance of things that strokes our flesh. Past healthy choices, past quality time, and past practical pragmatics that we usually like to stabilize things with. No, sometimes He blows right through all the alarms and warning signs we try to give Him—can’t take any more here, at all—and He charges on to higher ground.
Higher ground comes when throbbing muscles. Higher ground is seen only through oxygen-depraved eyes accompanied by funny black spots. Higher ground is mile 25 of the 26-mile marathon. HIGHER GROUND HURTS.
But this is where we live, right? Following Jesus straight into the fray; running the race stupid fast and firing wildly to hit anything moving?! The Spirit rarely likes for us to “get a handle on things.” No, He likes the handle. He wants to drive this thing. He knows where He’s going. And, you know what, we usually don’t. This is why we persist many times in “settling things down” and “getting a grip.” Hey guys, I’m hearing our LORD say….
Lose your grip.
This is where that flesh-faked balance is obliterated. This is where things get purposely out of whack. I’m not gonna have enough time with my kids or my wife. We are broke as it is. Who’s gonna pay for gas? I don’t even have insurance. I could lose my job. I don’t know about this…. And we weren’t called to understand or figure it all out. We are called to obey and abide. Only then can we….
Lose our grip.
I used to think balance was one of the most important things in my full-tilt, scatterbrained walk and especially my ministering. And then I realized that I made that up…and I needed to be Spirit-led. Sometimes that sees things seemingly unbalanced and topsy-turvy. Lately, after a year spent learning the joys and rigors of a deeper prayer life, I haven’t had near as much time to pray. And nothing I try works. Satan is attacking me with horrible dreams and restless nights. And when that isn’t the culprit, my kids, my wife and myself have been sick twice each in a two month period of time. Less sleep. Vomit. Sneezing. Whooping cough so bad one of the kids almost stopped breathing. The worst head cold we’ve had in five years. Quiet times drastically hindered.
And work loads have continued. What do we do?! We should probably stop. This isn’t healthy. Then all the creditors call on the day we ran out of gas money and almost had the water shut off. Either these are signs that we are very, very close to His good, pleasing, and perfect will or signs that we are very far from the mark. Forget balance, we are just trying to keep moving…keep trudging…keep heading up the steepest parts of revival. The air is thin. Several companions and even good friends have shaken their heads a bit. That’s ok. Abide and obey. It could get lonely. Don’t let us stop. We ARE out of whack; it IS too much. Go on Father, get Your glory…and help me, help us enter into Your sometimes exceedingly active rest. Where we….
Lose our grip.
And find perfect peace.