THE DIVINE DICHOTOMY
“At every turn, Thy will be done; in every trial, Thy Kingdom come.”
I can’t sell this. There is no profit, no gain. Save only that we gain more of Him. I have striven for success…I have longed for the myriads. Has my heart burst and spilled over its boundaries? Lord let me not taint the purity that is in Your movements. Lord, disallow my grubby, greedy hands to leave my mark on Your Bride…..
But I want to. I really do. Whether right or wrong. I long to affect the people. I feel made for heroics. While I still rigidly maintain that only You can manufacture superheroes. But here, in all of this, things are topsy-turvy, upside-down-sideways-long. Weird.
This all seems bewildering. But to want a good thing is to want a GOOD thing. Ay, but what will we do with it? It seems there is much ground to be gained in this department. Help me Jesus, for I am constrained on both sides. Would it be better to stick my head in my hands and be broken, burdened, and silent…or would it be better to be the brazen harbinger of Revival with bloodshed on every side, a hail of gunfire, and a mean sprint to the tower with torche in hand. To light the beacon. Methinks it is the flesh-tearing, divine dichotomy of the both.
Yessir, I am indeed neck-deep in the tug-o-war of these opposites. And Yahweh, You are on both teams. Pull. Tug. Tear me in half. Let the exasperation, the failed muscular attempt, be a sweet-smelling, heaven-pleasing altarfire. Hallelujah, win on both sides! Oh Supervictor, have in me the supervictory. May the rope even gain more glory than I. For THINE is the Kingdom and the Glory, both now and forever….